A baby in the making

We recently discovered that we are parents-to-be. We wanted to blog the entire pregnancy experience until the birth. We hope you enjoy reading our experiences all of it and share some of yours.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Hi! Just wanted to share that I had a spontaneous abortion due to the opening of the cervix.(Incompetent cervix they say) It was day before yesterday. But like they say, you've got another chance so I'm looking forward to that. Take care, I am doing well. Will be of to Delhi and Australia for Cecil's wedding.So until then take care, will talk soon.
Love,
Cecilia

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Well the baby is moving I can feel it, I can feel it, I can feel it. It is no doubt a wonderful feeling, that the baby is doing well, but more than that it makes me wondor of the future. I am sort of used to that kind of day dreaming.

But right now my concern in Puneet, apart from being busy and torn between mother-in-law and me, I feel like we're getting to used to our own lives. I rather not disturb his routine and he encourages me to stay in a routine so I don't miss him. Get the picture married folks! So we're getting just snatches of time in which we only discuss the finances and visa procedures for the upcoming trip to Australia. Once in way I get a tummy rub. I am selfish and want more.


Sometimes life becomes all too much. The in-laws, the trips, the money. But I do not want the stress to affect my baby, because he or she is more precious to me than all of these. So I must maintain a calm, till I am ready to let my hair down for Cecil's wedding.

I get the feeling I am going to like Oz!

Friday, January 13, 2006


The past few days have been busy for Puneet and me, me with work and him with some assignments, since I have my mother-in-law visiting us it has added to him catering to demands of two women. Not easy for him I think!

The pregnancy felt very nice the last two days, into my fourth month and it is pretty evident to see, that I am pregnant. I felt good but suddently I don't feel that good in my tummy anymore. I can't figure if it is the muscles or the baby playing tricks inside of me. I sleep for 8-9 hours a day, but boy I could do with 13-14.

Puneet and me are having less time together, I miss his playing with my tummy, he really is so good that I am sure the little brat already loves Daddy, like I do.

I've decided to take a few digital pictures over the weekend and upload them.

Pregnancy has changed me in a way, that I am liking, thought I will list a few.

I am more confidant about my body and talking about it.
I am more forceful and vociferous about my values.
I feel free. In the words of Janice Joplin - FREEDOM is another world for nothing left to lose.I am not afraid.

I hope one day our child realizes how much of a difference s/he has made to my life. A beautiful difference.


(picture courtesy: www.kathywolfe.com)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Once again Andrea Robertson offers me email advice in avoiding an episiotomy. I had no clue this word existed until I got pregnant. Yes I am opting for a natural birth, so there are chances of an episiotomy, something I'd like to avoid.



Regarding your question about episiotomy:

There are several things I can suggest to reduce your chances of
having this surgery.

* Choose your caregiver wisely. There is a lot of evidence that a
midwife supervising the birth will result in less perineal trauma. In the west, an intact perineum is the hallmark of agood midwife, and midwives are good at taking their time and not cutting.

* Stay upright for the birth. This will mean being off the bed, perhaps on a mat on the floor.
When upright, the tissues stretch more evenly around the baby's head as it is born,
reducing the strain on them and the chance of tearing. You will want to lean slightly forward,
and hold something or someone (kneeling is the easiest position).

* Only push when you really have to and not more than you need to. Often women are told to "push,push, push!" which is not only dangerous but unnecessary. The mportant thing is to take your time and push gently in short bursts as the urge comes on. That way there
will be time for the tissues to stretch as the baby comes through.

* Keep you eyes closed and your ears closed! Avoid making eye contact with anyone - it is
harder fro them to direct you if you are not looking at them. Keeping eyes closed will make it
easier for you to concentrate on pushing slowly and gently too. Keeping your ears closed is
to block out instructions that are not helpful. Only you can know
what is going on inside your body and you need to stay focused on that.

* If you are confused, put your fingers inside your vagina and feel
the baby's head - then what you are feeling will make sense.

* Take your time. There is no need to rush second stage. Attendants often get anxious and wantto rush through, but this can cause problems.

* Don't be coerced into pushing before you are ready. Sometimes there
is a lull between the first and second stage, when there are no contractions and everything stops for a while (this can last around 30 minutes). This is an important rest phase and gives you and
the baby time to rest before the pushing starts. Sometimes doctors want to speed things up at this point and put up a drip (saying that there is "uterine inertia") but they are wrong - trust
you body to know when the baby is ready to come.

* Doing some perineal massage in the last few weeks of the pregnancy
can help you prepare for the stretching sensations as the baby's head crowns and also helps to
soften the skin tissues. To do this massage, you need to have wet fingers (try this in the
shower) . Put your thumbs inside the vagina and gently move them apart, stretching the skin
until you feel a burning sensation. Massage the skin at this point for a few minutes. You can
do this with oil on your fingers as well, if you prefer. This won't prevent a tear (it will reduce
the chance of it happening), but will prepare you for the burning feeling that comes for about a minute when the baby's head is coming through.

These are some ideas you could think about. The upright position and taking your time will be the hard things to organise - you'll want to speak to your caregiver is advance about this. If you don't know who will be with you at the time, make it clear when you arrive at the hospital in labour that you will want to give birth upright on a mat on the floor. Also tell that you
DONT WANT and episiotomy and have them write this in the notes.

One point: some tearing may occur quite naturally, especially with a first baby. This is not usually extensive and will heal better than a cut. Stitching is only needed if the tearing
involves muscle layers (an episiotomy always involves the muscle layers ands much more extensive than a tear).

There is loads of information on the internet on all of these issues if you go a Google search.
The number of stitches is meaningless - in the West usually there is only one continuous stitch done to close the underneath layers and then a few small stitches to close the skin on top. A large tear might therefore only have "3" stitches. How many stitches are inserted is
dependent on the caregiver and their practices. Research shows that one continuous stitch is better than lots of smaller stitches.

Monday, January 09, 2006


I developed a sort of itch in my groin, the last few days. It wasn't too bad until yesterday. Immediately I went to a nearby gyne, my regular ones at the Military Hospital won't be available and with my work timing it is impossible to meet them except on Saturdays - my regular appointment days.

After a 12 hour day and running of to the tailors to stitch myself a new mini-ward robe, the last thing I wanted to hear was this doctor talking my head of for 40 minutes on douching and then searching for my baby's heart beat. The baby's good folks! The heart is good!

Then an examination of my little treasure cove, no infection, just dry skin from excessive washing with soap. So I am fungus free and I need to just apply some cream that is it.

Puneet is really tired, juggling studying, his mom, his pregnant wife, travel plans to Australia for my brother's wedding and taking care of home. He doesnn't like me telling him how much I appreciate his sense of justice and his feelings of love.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

How I wish I could bend over and kiss my own belly, my lil' baby is inside. Lucky P, always kisses my belly for me.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Every day I am so conscious I am going to be a mother and it gladdens my heart so much. But what I fear most is what impact will my parenting have on my child? Will I be the mother that curbs her/his naturalness? Will I be the mother that will leave a scar on my child's impression of this world? So what I think are mostly questions doubting my ability to be a mother, a good mother?

But I know deep down, this will be an endeavor I will always be putting my 100% into. So I give up wondering what a Mom, I will be.


Puneet's course mate gave birth to a baby girl, now the girl had a achy pregnancy and was constantly worried about labour and the rest. But she called yesterday to say she was happy with her hospital and had a good birth expeience. The baby started to cry and interrupted us, so will talk to her for details at a later time.

I love happy birth stories.

Yesterday, a senior coleague asked what I wish for this year- I said a more responsible job and a happy healthy baby. He immediately said, a happy healthy baby is the first priority.

I AGREE!