The weekend was good, I took the Friday off and had a luxurious day. There is the nausea, but the fact that I can do as I please in the day is such a relief.

At work I tried negotiating working from home once or twice a week because of the sheer distance between my work and home, around 40 Kms through one of the most polluted and indutralized parts of the city. The bus travel leaves me with nausea and a headache, not to mention the puke in my chest.

However, my boss said that he wouldn't be able to negotiate this with the Human Resources division, because he was the Head of the Learning Group. It is then that I realized how work places aren't meant to accomodate a pregnant employee's needs. First-trimester sickness is taken for granted and is infact overlooked in all "maternity policies".

In my opinion companies should make some levy for pregnant women during their first-trimester. Then again I am not talking about compassion and kindness, but hard rules that will protect the interest of both employer and employee.

This is not really a time when you are 100% percent concentrated on your work, there might be a few exceptions, but generally most women are not at their optimum best. I can't get to think deeply about this issue, but maybe rules like a extra hour at lunch for rest, or minimizing work hours, flexibility in work hours, few days off for check ups or intense tiredness would help women cope better with their pregnancy and the work place.

Most provisions are made only for just-before delivery or post delivery. But having your progestorone raised and HCG levels high during your first trimester makes life pretty complicated and a work life very hard to adhere to.

A pregnant working woman, needs to negotiate at her workplace, to help her give the best to her job and her health. But the negotiation should result in "pregnancy- friendly" policies . And most women work to make the money, so recommending going on leave without salary, or a resignation is not an option.

I am actually shocked that pregnancy related work rules have not yet been formulated, here in India, even in modern societies I find women just sticking with discomforts of pregnancy but continuing to work. Even the work place needs to think and feel about us pregnant women. We need that human side, now more than ever.

What are the provisions for maternity leave?

Every organisation has provisions for a specified period of time that is
designated as maternity leave. This may vary form 3-6 months and is usually a
paid leave. However, though leave may be granted, most women may have to undergo
subtle discrimination once her colleagues come to know that she is pregnant.
Thus, it is a good idea to tell the immediate supervisor about the pregnancy.
This makes it easier to dispel any doubts or misunderstandings between the
employer and the employee. In India, usually a maternity leave is for 12 weeks
and the employer pays for the leave. In case of a miscarriage, a woman is
entitled to 6 weeks paid leave from the day of the miscarriage.

The Maternity Benefit Act, 1961The Central Government passed the Maternity
Benefit Act in 1961 which extends to the whole of India, and to every
establishment belonging to the government – industrial, commercial or
agricultural. It provides for certain benefits which are granted to a woman
during her pregnancy. Also she cannot be dismissed from service on account of
her pregnancy.The maximum permissible period of maternity leave is 12 weeks,
with 6 weeks leave to be taken before delivery and 6 weeks immediately after the
child is born. A woman can ask for light work before she goes off on leave. The
employer cannot reduce her salary in this scenario. The maternity benefits can
only be withdrawn if the employee joins some other organisation during that
time.

There is such a big deal about pregnancy out there on the internet, there is a lot of debate about how to birth ones child. Unassisted Childbirth, WaterBirths, C-Sections, Normal...etc

I think every new-pregnant woman goes straight to the labour table in her mind, because that seems to be the hellish part of pregnancy. I do it all the time, I am continuously looking up research on Labour pain and management. I'm doing something wrong here. I know what I need to know now, and it is time I just relaxed my clamped down-under chamber about it.

I currently get checked up at the Military Hospital here in Secunderabad and from what I am told the hospital supports "Natural Childbirth". In emergencies it is the C-section.

So I have just two options, other hospitals offer many other options, but they are way to expensive and in my judgement unwarranted.

However there is one wish I have - to have a personal midwife assist me during the birth. Someone familiar, mature, confidant in bringing out the baby would be comforting.

I worte to Andrea Robertson from BirthInternational , she is a midwife from Australia.

This is what she had to say:

Hello Cecilia,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you are starting to enjoy
this special time in your life. Your idea to seek a natural birth is a good
one - Nature has
developed a very safe mechanism for bringing babies into
the world, especially if the process is left alone (not interfered with
unless there is a clear medical emergency). A Caesarean section is a wonderful
way to save lives but is not recommended for other births - there are too many
potential complications with caesarean for it to be considered safe for a
healthy mother and baby.

Keep looking for midwives. I don't know much about the health
care system in India, but you could try your local hospital and ask about
independent midwives in the area. You could also try looking up the Midwives
Association in India - they may also have useful contacts.

Keep reading about natural birth - there are some terrific websites
that will help you. Check this page on our site for links to a number
of
useful sources of information.

Best wishes with your pregnancy and have a wonderful birth,

Regards,
Andrea

I will ask at the hospital if there are any independent midwives in the area.

I am also trying to look up Working Rules for Pregnant Women in India.

Sunday was spent sleeping, I don't know why? But I am normally not a day sleeper. Last evening a few thoughts about the pregnancy came to mind. The nausea does make you rethink the whole pregnancy - if I were not pregnant I wouldn't have these feelings. But like all great and successful endeavors this status is sometimes hard to cope with, eventually you find the strength and hope.

The best part about yesterday was making love to Puneet after a long time, it made me feel like he's coping with the whole situation. Saturday we went to the Military Hospital for my check up, the reports were all well. Two of Puneet's colleagues are having babies next month, one of them is this cheerful girl, I really like.

I visited one of my friends who is also due on December 1st. She is one person who apparently enjoyed her pregnancy. Right now I don't enjoy the pregnancy, to some it might sound very harmful to my unborn child, but it is the truth. In a few months I might change my mind.

But to all women out there there will be good times and uncomfortable times. Be not ashamed to say it, it is just that we know our bodies turn hormonal-factories when we're having babies in us. Eventually the baby will be real and the discomfort will disappear.

Did I mention that I had an ultrasound done, it was not such an emotional experience but I felt like a kid that has a butterfly inside her stomach and likes it. I found my baby so funny because the whole chest would swoop up to make its heart beat. And the baby is soo small, but the chest thumps. That is sooo funny. Like a cartoon.

The past two mornings the "sickness" has been bearable - no acidic droplets down my throat, no headaches, generally a feeling of well being.I have thrown up thrice, but they made me feel better. I am so full of myself these days, this is a time I beleive every woman will wonder at herself, her body and the little mystery developing within her. It is overwhelming you know.

Puneet is being such a great guy, helping me out peel the almonds, packs my lunch, drops and picks me up from the bus stop. I really don't know how men cope with these changes, it is not easy but I truly appreciate all the men who make an effort to understand a pregnant-hormonally-charged-morning-sickness-ridden wife. I am sure the reward and love that comes back will be manifold.

Ever since I got to know of the pregnancy, I have been worried and feeling powerless over how my baby will be born, I know it is a long way of June 2006. But that is the culmination, and I want to be able to make the choice of how my baby arrives. Yes the priority is also my own comfort. Let us see.

Most of the blogs on the internet talk about birthing in AMerica or the West. I would love to read blogs of pregnant Indian women.

I read this very interesting blog VeryMom . Might want to go through it.

It has been a long while since I wrote on this blog the nausea is a "wave", keeps coming and leaving - me all day long. I haven't felt myself since a long time. Guess the hormones just work on you inside out. It is hard to stay focussed on work because inside you there is a mystery you want to learn more and more about. Nothing envelopes you more - it is the pregnancy, the baby and dealing with these new feelings.

Last night as we had dinner, I said to Puneet, "he'd be the best father". He is so patient, kind and understanding. Our first wedding anniversary is coming up and he says my gift is the baby.